I have a confession to make…

… I’ve kept the 7, yes 7, positive pregnancy tests that I did in July, just before my 2nd miscarriage.  I can’t bring myself to throw them away.  I think it’s because with the first pregnancy I had a scan and saw the heartbeat, but the 2nd miscarriage was so early that I hadn’t even been to my doctor, and keeping hold of tests makes it feel like I wasn’t making it all up and it was real.

I’ve probably taken over 50 home pregnancy tests since we started trying to conceive in Feb 2008… It gets a bit addictive and when you do get that precious positive result you want to keep seeing it so you keep doing the tests.  🙂

I am about to enter the Two Week Wait (TWW).   It is the 2 weeks after ovulation that you spend looking for symptoms of pregnancy and praying that your period doesn’t start.  The hardest part of the TWW is trying NOT to test too early.  You convince yourself that you can test at 10 dpo (days past ovulation), but it just leads to more anguish, because more often than not they come back as negative even if you are pregnant.  It’s best to wait until 14dpo to test ideally… but I can never wait that long!



Filed under My journey

3 responses to “I have a confession to make…

  1. ive had my pregnancy test from my angel for almost 5yrs now… and it still has the positive sign on it. i think i wont ever bring myself to get rid of it. its a special reminder of what was supposed to be before they were silently taken from us.

  2. Theresa, I am so sorry for your loss. Hold on to those positive tests for as long as you want to, and don’t feel quilty about it. That, for me at least, was the most difficult part. I had nothing to commerate the life that had been and was no longer.

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