Officially being in the TWW I am, as any other rational obsessive would be, now looking forward to the end of these 2 weeks and seeing that lovely dark positive line on the pregnancy test. Some people may think I’m setting myself up for a fall, but I have been doing this for over 18 months now and I’ve learnt to cope with the disappointment quite well. I’m sure my husband would disagree, but I’ve not given up hope yet have I? I believe that positive visualisation is the key and will spend the next 10 days saying over and over in my head:
I trust in the rhythm of my body to have conceived at the perfect moment. I will allow myself to know that all is well now. I will allow myself to relax and enjoy this wonderful journey now. I am pregnant and it is healthy.
So what happens in 10 days and I get my positive result? I’m a superstitious person who salutes a lone magpie and won’t walk under ladders. I was adamant in the last 2 pregnancies that we shouldn’t tell anyone until I reached 12 weeks. Superstition stopped me, but it didn’t really work did it? Both ended in miscarriage. So perhaps I should tell everyone as soon as I find out so that they can share in our joy and happiness from the start. Everyone knows we’re trying and that I’ve been on Clomid this cycle anyway. Or do I avoid the calls from my family and friends. Do I lie? Will it increase the terror and fear I will feel of another miscarriage. A feeling that I know I will fight with every day? Telling everyone will make it so much more real than if we’d kept it to ourselves until we were sure things were ok…
I know I am getting a little ahead of myself, but this TWW is the most tedious, drawn out part of the cycle. I have to occupy my brain with thoughts like this to make the time go a little bit quicker!