Miscarriage in films and on tv – Disney’s UP a refreshing change

In a tv drama or film a miscarriage is more often than not portrayed in a streotypical way. They woman doubles over in pain and sees some blood. She’s rushed to hospital. Cut to Dr telling her that she’s lost the baby. Cue ‘husband’ comforting her. That is usually it. Forget the fact that most women don’t double over in pain when their miscarriages start. For me I didn’t know my baby had died until I went for a scan at 11weeks. More importantly they rarely show the impact it has on your lives afterwards. You’d think watching it on screen that it is nothing more that a heavy period that can be made better with a cup of tea and a hug.

They rarely show the return home afterwards. The ‘father’ hiding any pregnancy books or paraphenalia. The ‘mother’s’ weeks of listlessly wondering room to room not having the energy to do anything but pace and cry. They rarely portray the numbness that comes with shock. We hardly ever see the sheer helplessness the ‘father’ feels knowing that his partner is in emotional and physical agony and not being able to take that pain away. Nor do they take in to account the fact that the ‘father’ has also lost a baby. In reality the emptiness and pain you feel never lessens. There is not a day goes by that I don’t think of the babies I have lost.

I went to see Disney’s UP at the cinema with my Gran the other week. The first 15 minutes are very moving. It is a montage of the couples life together. It all progresses as you would expect. They get married, buy a house and start decorating a nursery with hope and happiness. There are then 2 shots which tell the story of a miscarriage so beautifully. It cuts from the nursery decorating shot to a shot of the woman sat on a chair in the doctors office head in hands to a shot of her sitting in the garden looking lost. Its done so simply yet it captures the pure grief and despair felt by so many couples who have been through this.



Filed under My journey, Things that might interest you, Uncategorized

2 responses to “Miscarriage in films and on tv – Disney’s UP a refreshing change

  1. I haven’t seen the film Up yet, but have intended to go. In the meantime, I have seen tons of tweets from people who considered the miscarriage scenes in the film shocking, distasteful and a nasty surprise. Your description of the way that miscarriage is portrayed, both in the event and afterward, is so positive that I hope very much that enough people read it and start tweeting your message. The stigma of miscarriage has lifted so much in the past few years, not least because of the work of the Miscarriage Association, Baby Loss and others including, I hope, my own blog http://yourgreatlife.co.uk. The negativity nearly always seems to come from people who are not well-informed. It is our job and privilege to stand in support of those suffering from pregnancy loss and portray whatever they are feeling, deep in their hearts and affecting every aspect of their lives. By giving people room to grieve openly, we help them heal.

    • I’m sure that the people who say its shocking and distasteful have not been through the agony of losing a baby. For anyone who has lost it will strike a very true chord. Thank you for your comment and retweet. x

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