It was my husband’s birthday at the weekend and I really worked hard to make it the best birthday ever. I felt like I needed to make it up to him after the year we’ve been through. I know its not my fault that I miscarried and I know there is very little we could have done to prevent them, but I somehow feel responsible. After all it is my body that hasn’t been working properly. I really thought we’d managed to get pregnant again last cycle, we timed everything perfectly and still my body let us down. We know its not his contribution that’s defective. I feel guilty that I haven’t got pregnant and stayed pregnant yet. I know that we both want it so so much and I feel so helpless to make it happen. I keep waiting for someone to say “I have a magic cure for you”. I know my husband doesn’t resent me and I know that he doesn’t hold me responsible, but I can’t help feeling that it is in someway my fault. I’m sure this feeling won’t last forever, but I think it may not be until we are holding our baby in our arms that I start to stop feeling this guilt.