I feel guilty

It was my husband’s birthday at the weekend and I really worked hard to make it the best birthday ever.  I felt like I needed to make it up to him after the year we’ve been through.  I know its not my fault that I miscarried and I know there is very little we could have done to prevent them, but I somehow feel responsible.  After all it is my body that hasn’t been working properly.  I really thought we’d managed to get pregnant again last cycle, we timed everything perfectly and still my body let us down.  We know its not his contribution that’s defective.  I feel guilty that I haven’t got pregnant and stayed pregnant yet.  I know that we both want it so so much and I feel so helpless to make it happen.  I keep waiting for someone to say “I have a magic cure for you”.  I know my husband doesn’t resent me and I know that he doesn’t hold me responsible, but I can’t help feeling that it is in someway my fault.  I’m sure this feeling won’t last forever, but I think it may not be until we are holding our baby in our arms that I start to stop feeling this guilt.

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