Today should have been my first.

Last year’s Mother’s Day was really tough as I had only just miscarried, for the first time. I locked myself away for the day and tried to ignore that it was happening. Today should have been my first Mother’s day, but it wasn’t. I had thought that I would want to be the same as last year, hiding away from the world. It hasn’t been an easy day, but I’ve not wanted to ignore it. We had my mother in law over and I cooked. It felt good creating a really lovely meal and day for her. This afternoon we got in to the garden and cleared it up in preparation for the Spring growth. This evening Gowri Motha came over and taught me and my husband metamorphic technique, a form of healing with involves tapping the foot, hands and head to release anxiety and stress. It was a very powerful and calming experience. So I’ve spent today, Mother’s day, not moping, but creating, preparing for new life and releasing stress. It feels like a new chapter in our journey is beginning today. That is what Mother’s Day 2010 will represent from now on.

Tonight I lit 3 candles for my angels, acknowledging their short time with me and knowing we will be reunited one day. My time as a mother will come when the time is right. In the meantime I will remain positive and not lose hope.

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1 Comment

Filed under My journey

One response to “Today should have been my first.

  1. This post was so poignant. It’s wonderful that you were able to do something for your mother-in-law, even when the day was painful for you. That takes a lot of strength and caring. Giving to another person, cause or community is a really good way to heal yourself and get perspective. I know you know that because of the fund-raising and awareness activities you have already been doing.

    I had never heard of metamorphic technique, as you described it. It sounds like a variant of EFT. I would love to hear more about it.

    All the best,

    Lisa

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