It’s been a while since I last posted an update, but I’ve been wanting to post for ages!
In the last post I talked about the new fertility treatment that we were going to try. It turned out that we didn’t need to try it though as the negative test result I had got was wrong! On Sunday 23rd May I did another test and got that all special 2nd line I’ve been hoping and praying for!! I was a little shocked, but totally over the moon. It was completely unexpected. Our last round of Clomid had worked after all!
The following Monday I went to see my GP to request a prescription for the Heparin and Aspirin that Mr. Rai, the miscarriage specialist, recommended. The poor GP was a student and a little like a rabbit in headlights about it all. But eventually I managed to get a prescription from her and the nurse at the surgery explained how to inject. A fast, swift wrist action to pierce the skin with the needle at a 90 degree angle.
That evening, at home, I used a little bit of ice to numb my stomach, took a deep breath and with a fast movement brought the needle down… to about a millimetre away from my skin… then I very slowly pushed the needle in. Not quite what the nurse had explained to me, but it worked. It didn’t really hurt and I didn’t bleed afterwards, but after a few hours I did have a little bruise.
The GP booked me in for a scan for the following Friday when I would be 5weeks 4 days pregnant. Mr. Rai had requested that I have a scan at 6 weeks. I was so nervous as we entered the EPU at the hospital. I wasn’t expecting to see a heartbeat, but I was confident that we would get to see the pregnancy sac and yolk sac. The sonographer started with an external scan, but then asked me if she could do an internal one. This is fairly normal in early pregnancy as it’s hard to see everything with an external scan. She told me that she couldn’t see a pregnancy sac, but something that looked like a pseudo sac which is symptomatic of an ectopic pregnancy. They took my blood to test my hcg and progesterone levels and I left feeling really confused and very scared. I was determined to stay positive, but it was so tough.
The consultant called me later in the day and said that my hcg levels were good and the my high progesterone level was a clear indication that it wasn’t an ectopic pregnancy. She asked me to go in on the Sunday for a follow up blood test and then return the following week for another scan. The levels were still good on Sunday so I felt a little reassured.
Then the spotting started. As it had done in my 3 previous pregnancies in the last 18 month. I woke up in the morning of the Wednesday after the scan and there was a stain in my pyjamas. It was dark red in colour so I knew it was old blood, but it really scared me. We went to A&E just to make sure that everything was ok. They tested my blood again and my hcg was still up, but my progesterone had dipped a little. The consultant didn’t seem to bothered by it and just told me to go to the scan that I had booked on Friday. The spotting didn’t stop although it varied in amount and colour.
If it was at all possible I felt worse going in for the 2nd scan than I did when I went in for the first. I was so so scared that I was practically shaking and I was convinced it was going to be bad news. Thankfully they didn’t make me wait too long. It was good news this time. They could see the pregnancy sac and yolk sac, but were confused about my dates. By the dating method that all doctors use I should have been 6 weeks 4 days and yet I was measuring less than that. I told them that it was possible I ovulated late due to all the travelling I was doing around ovulation. I asked them about the spotting and they told me it was perfectly normal and that I shouldn’t worry unless it turned red or I passed clots. This was a little reassuring, but as I said, all my previous miscarriages had started this way. They asked me to come back in 3 weeks, after my holiday, for another scan.
We went to France for 2 weeks and I tried to really relax and switch off. I tried to ignore the constant spotting that was at times almost a flow and I continued with my injections and pills. I tried to be positive, but I was just so scared and worried that I didn’t know what to do with myself. Our friends on holiday with us must have thought I had the world’s smallest bladder as I went to the toilet every half hour to check everything was ok.
The Monday after we got back from France I had my 3rd scan. I felt sick with worry as we went in, again convinced it would be bad news. By this stage in pregnancy we should be able to see the heartbeat and I knew that it was policy for the sonographer to find it and show the parents straight away before doing all the other stuff they needed to do. She took her time and I started to get worried, I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. She then turned the screen around and showed us the heartbeat. I was flooded with relief and so happy. I even begged a copy of the scan from her even though baby just looked like a blob! She very kindly labelled the baby for us so we’d know where to point when showing people!
I had been in regular contact via email with my fertility doctor, Mr. Lavery since I found out that I was pregnant, just sending him little updates. He emailed me after the scan and recommended that I ask my GP to request a progesterone level test if the spotting continued and if it had dropped to ask for a prescription of a progesterone supplememt. After a little battle with the receptionist, to whom I had to spell progesterone to, I managed to get a form to take to the hospital to get a blood test done. The following day I phoned to get my results and my levels had dropped from 51 to 24.1. I asked to speak to a doctor straight away. To say he way less that sympathetic would be being nice. He basically told me that he wouldn’t prescribe the supplement without a letter from my fertility specialist… who, as I’d explained to him, was on holiday. I started to really panic and tried to get hold of any medical professional that I knew to try and get the prescription. I emailed my specialist in a vain hope that he might check his emails on holiday. Unbelievably, he replied almost immediately and told me to visit him at his Harley St clinic the following day and he’d sort it out. Thank goodness for him. When I went in to get the prescription he took time out of his busy day to have a quick chat with me and explain that although my level hadn’t dropped below the “normal” range for pregnancy the fact that it had dropped so much was a little concerning. He told me that the progesterone supplement was a precaution and the spotting should stop after a few days. He recommended that I ask my GP to check my levels again in a weeks time and ask him to organise another scan before my 12 week scan on 26th July.
I wrote a letter to my GP the following week to explain the dose of progesterone that I was now on and to request the blood test and scan. I also mentioned that I was concerned my condition hadn’t been taken more seriously the previous week especially considering my history. I followed the letter up with a phone call a few days later and boy do I wish I hadn’t. He was obviously on the defensive from the off. He basically told me that it wasn’t his job to look after my pregnancy. He had referred me to the ante natal unit at the local hospital and I was their problem now. I explained that I hadn’t had my booking in appointment yet and asked what I was supposed to do in the interim. He said go to A&E! He told me it wasn’t within his power to request a scan, which it clearly is as his colleagues had done it in the past. He also, and this shocked me most, said that if my levels had dropped there wasn’t anything they could do about it anyway. He said in such a callous and unfeeling manner. I was stunned that a healthcare professional who knew about my history of miscarriage could be so uncaring. I was so upset.
Luckily my Dad, who is a consultant in another hospital was able to do my blood test for me and I booked a private scan for yesterday morning to put my mind at ease. My levels have risen back up to 52 again which is a great relief to me.
The scan was magical. I saw the baby moving and heard the heartbeat. It looks like a proper baby now! I was so happy and so relieved.
Early on in the pregnancy I had a session with Gowri Motha and during the reiki part she said that she had had a clear image of 2 hands made from gold leaf encircling the head of my baby, keeping it safe. From the very beginning I’ve felt as thought there is a golden glow about this baby. I know that everything is going to be ok, it’s just hard to relax and believe that given my history. I am now further along in this pregnancy than any of my previous ones. I feel so blessed and my husband and I count each day as a blessing.