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Thank you in advance for your generousity.
A death that was also a birth – Salon.com
A beautifully written piece. So emotional.
To perform the Taharah when a woman has lived out her life, has seen her children grow and have their own children, seems part of the natural logic of life. The first Taharahs I took part in were just that. This next Taharah, however, involved someone who had not lived a long life, had not lived to see her children grow, and this time, I was to be alone.
The call stunned me. I knew she was sick, but this wasn’t expected. Now the mortuary was asking, could I be the one to take care of her? I had never before performed a Taharah on a baby. My experiences with babies were of life, not of death. There was always joy, a new beginning. Here was unimaginable sadness, an ending.
As I looked at the tiny garments, it became real, and I worried about how I would react. My mind remembered my nursing training, when we were doing a rotation in the NICU and how I just couldn’t bear to be with sick babies. All I could think about were my own babies and I had cried to my instructor, “Just get me out of here!” Now I was going to be with this fragile body, with this baby who was no longer sick, but was actually gone.
Continue reading A death that was also a birth – Salon.com.
Filed under Things that might interest you
Mothers ‘to have a named midwife to birth and beyond’ in NHS reform of care for pregnant women | Mail Online
For the first time, the NHS will be measured against how well it looks after parents who have miscarried or suffered a stillbirth or cot death. Patients will be asked to rate their care so the NHS can improve it.
Filed under News
When a Baby Dies – Making Memories
Below is an extract from a campaign page set up by a woman who is doing an amazing job at trying to raise awareness by educating health care professionals on dealing with bereaved parents.
Please Help…
Finley’s Footprints are a small company with a big aim. We wish to make significant changes to the care that bereaved parents receive world wide following the loss of their baby. Mel Scott is the founder and therapist/coach whose sad loss inspired her to begin making sure that parents are given a chance to make memories as she did.
Our next project is to create a professional e learning package for midwives, doctors and funeral care staff to help them to understand what helps parents and why. We need to raise $5000 to cover the cost of this project. If this project does not happen, parents will remain burdened with the guilt and regret of not having memories to treasure, parents will remain upset by the unfortunate comments and actions of staff who are not confident in caring for the bereaved.
We are turning to you to help us with financial contributions. In exchange we are offering acknowledgement within the credits, a memorial butterfly to remember your lost loved one, or a story or advert page within the e learning.
Your contribution will help us continue to change maternity services around the world, bringing awareness to this taboo subject.
Our Story
Do you have children? Could you imagine going a day without seeing their smile, watching them play? Every day, in the UK alone 17 families wake up to find this is their reality. Every single day 17 families hear the words “I am sorry there is no heart beat, or I am sorry your baby will not survive”. The care that these families receive after a loss is critical to help them to heal.
We are appealing for your contributions, in order to create an e learning package for professionals working in this field.
Sadly this happened to us. My family was one of 17 heartbroken families created on August 2nd 2009.
On August 2nd 2009 our son Finley John was born. Sadly he never woke up. We will never know the colour of his eyes, we will never know if he snores, we will never know his first word or see him take his first steps.
But we consider ourselves lucky. We were “allowed” to spend three days with our son. We got to bathe him, dress him, have him blessed, get to know his little fingers and toes. Many moments were videoed or photographed. We created memories in those three days that have to last us a lifetimes.
We were this lucky because the staff that cared for us understood. They understood how important it is to see your baby after they die, how important it is to hold them, and care for them. And they were skilled in communicating this – so we also understood that this one shot, this time, this was the only chance that we had. Just over two weeks later we said goodbye forever. There were no more moments, no more memories.
The idea for this campaign comes from the work that I chose to do to support other parents in our situation. Sadly many parents do not get to make these memories, yet they could. Staff ranging from midwives, care assistants, health visitors, social workers, doctors through to funeral directors and chaplaincy staff all have a part to play in supporting staff to make memories.
This requires them to have knowledge, skills, time and compassion.
It is our intention to supply e learning packages, to make professional quality training (accredited by the royal college of midwives) available worldwide, in an accessible, inspirational format.
The package will be written by myself. I am an occupational therapist with 10 years experience working in a mental health setting. I am also a trained teacher, life coach and writer.
The content will be enhanced by contributions from obstetricians, psychologists, grief experts, mortuary staff and midwifery staff. The package will be designed and programmed by an experienced creative team.
The package will contain different media and reach people via different learning styles. It will be heavily researched and referenced with medical quality references.
We need your help. You can:
Share this campaign amongst your networks.
Contribute financially yourself.
Offer your professional expertise and time to make another contribution.
The Impact
This campaign is necessary. It will have a wide reaching effect. It will raise awareness worldwide about pregnancy loss, baby loss, and healing methods. It will be beneficial to different staff groups such as midwives, doulas, care assistants, doctors, funeral staff. It will have a direct impact on parents who have experienced a loss, as the care they will receive will be improved. It will help to ensure equality of care after loss on a national and international scale.
If this campaign does not happen, parents will continue to receive poor quality care in many areas. They will not get the chance to create memories with their children, they will continue to carry regret and guilt with them for more than 20 years, gradually destroying them and their hopes.
What We Need & What You Get
We need to get $5000 dollars to complete this series of e learning packages. This money will be used to pay for
The design, creation and programming of the template
The time it takes to write the content
The fees of the experts
The fee to accredit it with the professional bodies.
Marketing the project in its developmental stages.
Hosting the package online.
Maintenance of the packages
Marketing, and trademarking the final product
If our goal is not reached we will proceed with the project, get what we can completed while we seek more funding.
For more information and to donate please visit: http://igg.me/p/73816?a=567392
Filed under Charity fundraising events and news
Maria Pridmore: After 16 tries, I finally got the baby I wanted | Metro.co.uk
Such a wonderful story. I’m so pleased for them. An amazing couple to have found the strength to keep trying after such tragedy and so much loss.
After 16 tries, I finally got the baby I wanted. Mother Maria Pridmore who suffered 14 miscarriages, a stillbirth and the death of her baby son spoke of her joy after giving birth to a girl.
Full story: Maria Pridmore: After 16 tries, I finally got the baby I wanted | Metro.co.uk.
Filed under News, Things that might interest you
Sponsor needed
We are currently looking for a sponsor for this year’s concert in aid of the Baby Loss Awareness Campaign. If you are interested or know someone who might be, please follow this link: http://www.uksponsorship.com/a1584.htm
Filed under Uncategorized
Song writing competition for this year’s concert!
I am organising the concert again this year for Sunday 14th October. The venue will be the same as in previous years, the Leicester Square Theatre.
At each of the events so far we have shown a slide show at the end of the concert of messages people have written to or about the babies they have lost. This year I would like to invite songwriters out there to submit a piece to be used as the soundtrack to this slide show.
It needs to be between 4-5 minutes long. The only stipulation to the content of the song is that it is not religious. Having said that, “angel” is a common way of people referring to the babies they have lost and therefore is allowed. To give you an idea of style, in the past we have used Sarah Mclachlan’s Angel.
The competition is open to anyone, professional or not. The “winner” will have their piece recorded and used for the slideshow. They’ll also received a pair of VIP tickets to the event.
To Enter please send submissions via the Contact Me page.
Closing date for the competition is Friday 31st August 2012.
Filed under Uncategorized
Upon Butterfly Wings
‘Upon Butterfly Wings’ is a non profit pregnancy and infant loss organisation based in London in
the UK which has been founded in memory of a very special little man called Bobby and his Angel friends and which is made up entirely of voluntary ladies and gents who spend their own free time trying to make a difference.
UBW provide support to parents and the families of those who have lost their baby or child in two ways …
- by donating knitted, crochet and sewn blankets, teddies, burial clothing and lots more to hospitals and funeral homes across the UK for babies lost to early miscarriage, during mid and late term pregnancy, stillbirth and neonatal death (the first twelve weeks of life).
- by donating Memory Boxes to families who have sadly lost their baby or child at any age who were not provided with one at the original time of their loss.
You can help Upon Butterfly Wings by knitting, crocheting or sewing for them or by donating items to go into their memory boxes. A complete list of what is needed can be found on their website and so can patterns in the correct sizes.
For full details on UBW, please visit their website www.uponbutterflywings.org, or you can email them on enquiries@uponbutterflywings.org
UBW can also be found on facebook.com/uponbutterflywings and on Twitter @ubutterflywings.
