A death that was also a birth – Salon.com

A beautifully written piece.  So emotional.

To perform the Taharah when a woman has lived out her life, has seen her children grow and have their own children, seems part of the natural logic of life. The first Taharahs I took part in were just that. This next Taharah, however, involved someone who had not lived a long life, had not lived to see her children grow, and this time, I was to be alone.

The call stunned me. I knew she was sick, but this wasn’t expected. Now the mortuary was asking, could I be the one to take care of her? I had never before performed a Taharah on a baby. My experiences with babies were of life, not of death. There was always joy, a new beginning. Here was unimaginable sadness, an ending.

As I looked at the tiny garments, it became real, and I worried about how I would react. My mind remembered my nursing training, when we were doing a rotation in the NICU and how I just couldn’t bear to be with sick babies. All I could think about were my own babies and I had cried to my instructor, “Just get me out of here!” Now I was going to be with this fragile body, with this baby who was no longer sick, but was actually gone.

Continue reading A death that was also a birth – Salon.com.

Maria Pridmore: After 16 tries, I finally got the baby I wanted | Metro.co.uk

Such a wonderful story.  I’m so pleased for them.  An amazing couple to have found the strength to keep trying after such tragedy and so much loss.

 

After 16 tries, I finally got the baby I wanted. Mother Maria Pridmore who suffered 14 miscarriages, a stillbirth and the death of her baby son spoke of her joy after giving birth to a girl.

Full story:  Maria Pridmore: After 16 tries, I finally got the baby I wanted | Metro.co.uk.

Upon Butterfly Wings

‘Upon Butterfly Wings’ is a non profit pregnancy and infant loss organisation based in London in

the UK which has been founded in memory of a very special little man called Bobby and his Angel friends and which is made up entirely of voluntary ladies and gents who spend their own free time trying to make a difference.

UBW provide support to parents and the families of those who have lost their baby or child in two ways …

• by donating knitted, crochet and sewn blankets, teddies, burial clothing and lots more to hospitals and funeral homes across the UK for babies lost to early miscarriage, during mid and late term pregnancy, stillbirth and neonatal death (the first twelve weeks of life).

•  by donating Memory Boxes to families who have sadly lost their baby or child at any age who were not provided with one at the original time of their loss.

You can help Upon Butterfly Wings by knitting, crocheting or sewing for them or by donating items to go into their memory boxes. A complete list of what is needed can be found on their website and so can patterns in the correct sizes.

For full details on UBW, please visit their website www.uponbutterflywings.org, or you can email them on enquiries@uponbutterflywings.org

UBW can also be found on facebook.com/uponbutterflywings and on Twitter @ubutterflywings.

Pregnant women warned over ibuprofen miscarriage risk | Metro.co.uk

Pregnant women warned over ibuprofen miscarriage risk

Pregnant women have been told not to take ibuprofen after new research claimed it can more than double the risk of miscarriage.

If taken in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, it can increase the risk by 2.4 times, say Canadian researchers.

Women have been warned over ibruprofen usage during pregnancy

The popular pain reliever is in a class of drug known as non-steroidal anti- inflamatory drugs (NSAIDS) that also  includes naproxen and diclofenac.

Clinicians examined 4,705 miscarriage cases and found that 352 (7.5 per cent) had taken a non-aspirin NSAID.

Read the full story:  Pregnant women warned over ibuprofen miscarriage risk | Metro.co.uk.

Slideshow of the Baby Loss Awareness Concert 2009

Lily didn’t have a miscarriage, she had a son – Jane Graham, Columnists – Belfasttelegraph.co.uk

Well said Jane.

Lily didn’t have a miscarriage, she had a son – Jane Graham, Columnists – Belfasttelegraph.co.uk.

The House I Keep – film about miscarriage

The House I Keep is a 10 minute short film that centers around one woman’s struggle to come to terms with the recent loss of a child by miscarriage.

In 2007, with one healthy two-year-old child, writer/producer/director Jhene Erwin and her husband decided it was time to have a another baby. Six weeks into her pregnancy, she miscarried. Her second miscarriage occurred at eleven weeks. What followed was a mourning process the intensity of which was most surprising to Jhene herself. A published poet, she began writing to try to come to terms with the loss. Daily life became a challenge as she struggled to reconnect to a world that held no evidence of what for her, was a seismic event. The poetry Jhene wrote serves as the film’s narrative.

In The House I Keep we experience the life of the lead character Nicole, as she grapples with her day, six weeks after suffering a miscarriage. What lies beneath a thin veneer of normality is a rage and a sorrow that isolates and warps. She struggles to come to terms with the loss of something that was, but never was. Something that she alone felt as real.  It is in the war between her internal and external life that we come to understand the conflicts that have plagued her recovery. What is remarkable about this day is that she stumbles upon a curious symbol of hope that will ultimately lead her back to peace.

 

The House I Keep is premiering at the 2011 Tallahassee Film Festival in April.  Please visit the website at http://www.thehouseikeep.com for more detailed information about the film. If you like what you see, please join them on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-House-I-Keep/69409738707.

 

 

A letter to Lily Allen

Last night my husband and I watched Riches to Rags.  The programme was about Lily Allen and her sister setting up their business, but during the programme Lily lost her baby.  Watching the pain and devastation poor Lily went through, I just wanted to make things different for her.  After the programme ended I couldn’t sleep.  I just wanted to lie and watch my baby sleep.  My baby, who is the same age that Lily’s baby should be.  I also felt compelled to write this

Dear Lily,

I am so so sorry for your losses.  To miscarry once in early pregnancy is devastating and something I am sadly no stranger to.  But I cannot imagine the pain and devastation of losing a baby at 6 months pregnancy.

It annoyed me that the press referred to your recent loss as a miscarriage.  No matter how hard it is to read or write they should have said that your baby was sadly stillborn.  He was a perfect little being, born in to this world too soon.  He had a name and a face, something the term miscarriage somehow diminishes.

There are so many milestones in pregnancy, especially if you have suffered losses.  First there is the 12 week milestone then the 20 week… by the time you get in to the third trimester you feel that you are on the home stretch and actually allow yourself to start relaxing in to the idea that you are going to be a mother.  You don’t think that things can go wrong once you’ve got so far on.  I got pregnant around the same time as you.  My heart broke for you when I read your sad news.  It made me appreciate so much more every day that my pregnancy progressed.  I so wish that things had been different for you.

Watching you on Riches to Rags last night my heart broke again.  No one should ever have to go through what you did and to have to do it so publicly must have made it even harder.  You looked so vunerable and I just wanted to reach out to you.  I want to tell you that it’s ok to not be ok.  To tell you that I wish so much that you hadn’t had to go through what you have.  To tell you not to give up hope.  And to tell you that you are not alone.

On Sunday, Mother’s day, I will be thinking of you and your angels.  I will light a candle for the babies I have lost, for the babies you have lost and for all the angel babies.  I hope and pray that you will have a healthy full term pregnancy and that you too get to hold your forever baby in your arms soon.

BBC News – Miscarriage ‘raises heart risk’

Having multiple miscarriages increases the risk of a heart attack later in life, according to researchers.

The German study, published in the journal Heart, found that women who had more than three miscarriages had a five-fold increase in risk.

The relatively young age of the women meant overall risk remained low, but miscarriages could alert doctors to future problems, the researchers said.

UK specialists said that the reason for the link was still unclear.

Full Article:  BBC News – Miscarriage ‘raises heart risk’.

BBC News – The pain of miscarriage

Lily Allen announced last week that she and her boyfriend Sam Cooper had lost their unborn baby.

The 25-year old singer was six months pregnant and had previously had a miscarriage in 2008.

It will be of little comfort to her to know that around one in five pregnancies ends before the 24th week.This figure could be even higher because many miscarriages are thought to occur before a woman realises that she is pregnant.

At whatever stage the miscarriage occurs it is a difficult and emotional experience, heightened by the fact that there is seldom an explanation for why they happen.

For most women, a miscarriage is a one-off event and they go on to have a successful pregnancy in the future. But around 1% of couples will experience recurrent miscarriages the loss of three or more pregnancies in a row.

Full article:  BBC News – The pain of miscarriage.